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Joke of the Day

"Regretting that I didn't install a GPS locator on the baby, because man this Hooters is a big place."

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"what's that word for when you're peeling off a sticker & it comes off in 1 perfect strip & it's better than love or joy or any human emotion"
"yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds."
"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling."
"Womens rights"
"Did you hear about the holocaust museum banning Pokemon? I guess they didn't want a bunch of Ash running around."
"""DO NOT HIT ME. THE TURTLES DO NOT HIT SPLINTER. I AM SPLINTER TO YOU."" -real thing I just said to my son"
"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Hello Pregnant"", he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. ""I'm Dad"""
"What does Batman have in his lemonade? Just ice."
"What does black Vin Diesel smell like? What does black vin diesel smell like? Vinegar."
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