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Joke of the Day

"Regretting that I didn't install a GPS locator on the baby, because man this Hooters is a big place."

"If you like the song ""Red Red Wine"" then U B 40."

"People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up"

"A Tumblr user walks into a DIY store..... A Tumblr user walks into a DIY store and steals one item. He take a fence"

"Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife."

"Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""Do you all want a beer?"" The first logician says, ""I don't know."" The second logician says, ""I don't know."" The third logician says, ""Yes."""

"MFW I'm bread and I have to remind people to put the twist tie back on the packaging Fuck I mold"

"God I hate Mayweather it was like 90 degrees yesterday"

"How does a sea urchin search the internet? sea urchingine"

"Kill them with kindness, you say? *slowly and sadly puts down bazooka*"