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Joke of the Day

"It is known... ..by everyone except Jon Snow. He knows nothing."

"Job interviewer: ""Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"" Me: ""It's a secret."" Job interviewer: ""You got the job."""

"*pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?"

"New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you. Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9 Neighbor: What's your Twitter @ Me: DAMMIT"

"What do you call a two-headed lesbian dinosaur? Eat-a-lotta-puss"

"How is Hillary Clinton and a high class prostitute different? Rich people pay the prostitute to fuck them, they pay Hillary Clinton to fuck everyone else."

"What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds? Chevy Chase."

"Why You Shouldn't Drink Toilet Water There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water: Number 1. Number 2."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Garbanzo beans were never the subject of bad puns."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beets ! Beets who ? Beets me but I just forgot the joke !"