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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized."

"What elephant and a canary and in common? They both can't ride bicycles."

"I'm close to $100,000 deep in student loans for my English degree and I just used the word ""awesome"" 10 times in a row to describe a guy."

"What do you call a black person that flys an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard"

"My girlfriend is a porn star.. she is going to be *so* pissed when she finds out."

"The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard."

"Why dick has a sad life? Bcoz, his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him."

"I bought a new thesaurus It's nothing to write house about"

"Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it."

"A woman turns to her brother and says: ""Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?"" ""It must need Osteo-per-o-sis"" _Love it._"