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Joke of the Day

"When I'm at a restaurant and see 'secret sauce' on the menu, I immediately tell the people at the table next to me"

"Do not judge a book by its cover, unless there's a Swastika on the cover"

"If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor."

"Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? A: Kitty Perry"

"If you read a text in front of the mirror three times, I will appear and help you analyze it."

"Today's Favorited tweet is tomorrow's Facebook update."

"Fact: A lot of women turn into good drivers. So if you're a good driver, watch out for women who are turning!"

"What do you call the ghost of a detective? An inspectre."

"How is eating a girl out like being a member of the mafia? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit!"

"Her: I'm so wet Him: I'm so hard Eavesdropping alien: These people are bad at describing themselves."