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Joke of the Day

"There was a sniper here Anybody s.."

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"What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church? A Crystal Methodist."
"What's the difference between an Irish guy dying in a play, and you getting laid? One's a tragic Mick..."
"HR: You know why you're here? Me: So we can be alone? HR: Your new nickname is a problem. Me: We all have them. HR: Yes, but Sperminator?"
"What do you call an angry reticle? A cross-hair"
"What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains."
"I still get my 'drive-throughs' & 'drive-bys' mixed up. Which is the one where I have to take a gun?"
"Can gorillas swim? No."
"Taking Viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!"
"If you were receiving a shipment of very rare, very special insects, would it be... Import Ant"