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Joke of the Day

"You know its been a long night... [NSFW] When you stick the razor in the hooker, and your dick in the coke"

"I'm absolutely sick and tired of my wife not cleaning out the coffee machine after she's finished with it. Grounds for divorce."

"[at the shooting range] Recruit: Sir, I missed every target. Officer: Perfect. *makes him a stormtrooper*"

"An Atheist, a Crossfiter, and a Vegan walk into a bar... ...and everybody knows."

"Why do many kids die in school massacres Because they can't run in halls"

"You know why I don't have a spine? The French needed it."

"What is red and hurts when you bite it? A Brick."

"The worst part about winter is how the ground is hard and crunchy and it makes me constantly crave nachos."

"Did you hear about the guy who snorted curry powder? He fell into a korma"

"A flash mob has nothing to do with a bunch of Italians in trench coats hanging out at a playground, apparently."