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Joke of the Day
"How do elephants smell? Really bad."
Next Joke
"I have accepted ""Jesus Christ!"" as my personal exclamation."
"That awkward moment when you step on a lego and all the kids scatter because they know SOMEONE must die."
"Who invented the North America? TEACHER: Sarah, go to the map and find North America. SARAH: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?CLASS: Sarah!"
"When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don't open your heart."
"What exactly had the ""NOW That's What I Call Music!"" guy been listening to before? Sound FX CDs? Whale noises?"
"Blackjack is a lot like my love life. I always hit on 16"
"You're more useless than a..."
"Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Look ask me when I get back from India okay?"
"I was in bed with the wife the other night and she said if I turned the bedside light out she'd take it up the arse... Maybe I should have let it cool down a bit first."