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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between novocaine and an index finger? One's a digit divisible by two, the other is a prime number."

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"So I go in for my physical... And the doctor says ""I need a semen, stool, and urine sample."" I say ""Gee doc, I'm in a big hurry. Can I just leave my underwear?"" *Taken from Bill Paxton in Predator 2.*"
"Tonight at the Who concert As the band started up ""You Better You Bet"", the guy next to me stood up to go get a drink. So I asked him - ""Not a fan of their new album?"""
"I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship."
"My sex life is a lot like the Olympic 100m final. I wait 4 years for it and it's over in less than 10 seconds."
"I had sex twice in 24hours and I'm so glad that I have 4000 people to brag about it to"
"What is good on pizza, but not good on pussy? The cheese and crust."
"What do you call a man with three cocks? A farmer"
"My wife always finds a reason to hate every girl that I bring home."
"Therapist: So what happened in your last relationship? I lost him to addiction. Therapist: I'm so sorry. Drugs? Yes please."