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Joke of the Day

"I.. I.. Just... :( A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

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"mens rights activists"
"[used car] ME: my credit's bad SALESMAN: k ME: i'm a criminal SALESMAN: no law against that ME: i'm on the run SALESMAN: then you need a car"
"In every soap opera we've ever watched, we are taught that running away and leaving doesn't solve our problems Didn't stop the Brits from trying"
"What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you? You will get burned, you idiot."
"I tried to buy some purfume from a vending machine, But it was out of odour"
"Drill Sgt didn't like me giving unlicensed chiropractic adjustments to the platoon when he told me... Get your hands off my privates!"
"The only word in the English language that is always pronounced wrong is........... Wrong"
"How do sharks like their steak? Whale-done :)"
"Did you hear about the racist dolphin waiter? He serves no porpoise."