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Joke of the Day

"So Kim Jong-un is claiming he personally hacked into Sony's servers in retaliation to them broadcasting a spoof interview. Is there no end to this Olympic gold Medallist's talent?"

"What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common? Hogwarts!"

"{At the art museum with my newborn son} baby: dada? Me: it's impressionist you stupid baby"

"Must thank Matthew Broderick for overcoming my fear of sex after pregnancy. He reminded me that sometimes you just have to get back on the horse."

"What's black and blue and about to hurt someone? Batman thinking about his dead parents."

"What does a Gynecologist and a Pizza Boy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it"

"It's my birthday, so here's a related joke. Why are birthdays good for you? - - - - - Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest."

"I like my women how I like my candy bars... with nuts"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? you can't jelly your dick down someone's throat"

"I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, ""omg i'm so ugly"" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away."