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Joke of the Day

"I married a French girl and had three sons We named our first son Antoine. We named our second son Anteux. We named our third son Antthree."

"If you insist on telling me about your weekend, I suggest you do it in the bathroom, as it's the only place I'll give a shit."

"You can lie about where you went to college & nobody has any idea. Pretty sure you can also just lie about going to college."

"The President of the United States, the Prime Minister of England, and the King of Thailand walk into a bar in Bangkok and the bartender says ""May I get you and your guests drinks, Your Majesty?"""

"""You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this"" -Guy who invented shovels"

"TIL Today I learnt what TIL meant."

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."

"Is it still illegal to run someone over with your car if they're wearing camouflage?"

"Did you know Elvis used to have a boat called the ""Jailhouse""? That fucking thing rocked."

"An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok."