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Joke of the Day

"What did the magician say to the aerial student? I work on a different plane"

"[Deathbed Confession] I wish I'd listened to my girlfriend more often. Especially as I crossed the road after she yelled BUS."

"What's the difference between the Foo Fighters and Nickleback? Nickleback sucks."

"Why did the armadillo cross the road? It didn't, it made it halfway and then got hit by a truck."

"What is the best way to get over a guy/girl? Truck."

"My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right."

"Me: Can you bring me a burrito Him: you want me to come over? Me: no. I want a burrito to come over."

"Someday you'll wake up with Mark Zuckerberg in your bed because you neglected to uncheck a box."

"Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good."

"What do Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville have in common ? They both shafted minors in the 1980's."