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Joke of the Day

"How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? 100; 1 to do it, and 99 to say ""I could do that."""

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer"

"A doe walks out of a forest... and says ""Well I'll never do that for a buck again."""

"Why do witches not wear panties? You get better grip on the brooms."

"When you say, ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans,"" all I hear is, ""There's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"The Hotness Scale I went out on a date with a chick the other night. Looks-wise, she was a five, but with her low self esteem, she was a solid seven."

"I got punched in the face by a hipster today... I yelled ""Bro, that's not cool!"" He replied, ""not yet""."

"I've just raped a retarded virgin. Pure and simple."

"What did people call the Nutty Professor before he became a professor? Mr. Peanut"

"Her: ""I'm Romanian"". Me: Like the lettuce?!"