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Joke of the Day

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of bread to the ceiling."

"A tassel walks into a bar... The bartender yells out ""Hey, you have to leave! We don't serve ropes here!"" The tassel grins and says ""Nope, I'm a Frayed knot!"""

"I hear China has abandoned it's one child policy, which is great news. I never could eat just the one"

"How does a black girl know she's pregnant? When she pulls out her tampon the cotton is already picked"

"I NEED A JOKE! I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS THE RIGHT SUBJECT BUT I REALLY NEED A JOKE THAT INCLUDES -a farmers field -a pack of dogs -burning house -a hospital -set in the nighttime Thanks so much"

"Why do girls never travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"""Why did you dry these grapes?"" ""No raisin"""

"'I'm really excited about the Pixar cowboy figure I got for my birthday.' 'Woody?' 'Not quite that excited.'"

"What does a calculus teacher say when a student doesn't get it? Bro, do you even function?"

"If you say 'my cocaine' really loudly, you will sound exactly like Michael Caine saying his own name. I will never get tired of this."