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Joke of the Day

"A really fat friend sat on her cat, long story short - now I can add search & rescue, proctologist and vet to my resume."

"Short story about sharpness. Man 1: What is more sharp Mouth or Anus? Man 2: Mouth. Man 1: Can you cut your shit using your Mouth? Man 2: ..."

"Daddy Bear -""Someones been sleeping in my bed."" Mummy Bear -""Wouldn't be the first time."" Daddy Bear -""It's been 3 years Sue, let it go."""

"I'm in a band named 999 megabytes We still haven't got a gig yet"

"Learning to write jokes is like when you first start having sex... You think it's easy and it's gonna make people happy but you end up just leaving people feeling confused and disappointed"

"How much sex does Sister Mary get? Nunn."

"I don't understand why Pabst gets such a bad wrap. It won a blue ribbon Once."

"I watched what many consider the worst Star Trek episode ever, but I didn't think it was too bad. I guess I just have a lower Threshold for quality."

"I saw The Joker working at a winter apparel store. He turned to me and said ""You wanna know how I got these scarves?"""

"They say that every time you have sex it's the same amount of exercise as running 5 miles But I think that's bullshit because I've never run 5 miles in 30 seconds."