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Joke of the Day

"I have a joke about Ikea but I can't put it together"

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in tendifferent puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately,no pun in ten did."

"I'm so lazy, If autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I don't even bother sending the text."

"What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ? [Lame Joke] Haploid"

"I have OCD and ADHD... So everything has to be just right, but only for a little while."

"If you had to choose between your SO and 1 millions dollars... What is the first thing you would buy?"

"Minnie Mouse comes home to Mickey and tells him she wants to get a divorce Mickey: ""What? Think of what this will do to the ratings! Are you fucking crazy!?"" Minnie: ""No dear, I'm fucking Goofy"""

"What did the twin embryos say when they were hungry? Fetus"

"I'll sleep when my iPhone's dead."

"Saw a black man run down the street with a flatscreen under his arm At first i thought it was mine, but then i remembered that mine was chained in my backyard picking cotton"