149109

Joke of the Day

"Females will stop speaking to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same trifling ass dude a millions times."

"A man with authority walks into a bar... Orders everyone a round"

"I don't know what it is about my masseuse... But something about her just rubs me the wrong way."

"How do you put spaghetti to sleep? You cover it in peanut butter until it dies. My 4 year old made that up, along with a few others. Not sure how I feel about this."

"Why do infants wake up crying as if they are the ones who have to go out and work!?"

"What do Coors Light and sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking close to water."

"What's the worst vegetable to have on a boat? A leek."

"I used to be a man trapped in a woman's body... but then my mom gave birth."

"""Check engine"" Yep, it's still there."

"What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast? Sugar Puff Daddy"