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Joke of the Day

"Q: why you can't smoke weed with Mexicans A: Because when you ask them for papers they run away"

"I spend so much time alone I may as well just be ugly."

"Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject"

"It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer."

"I know what your girl wants for her birthday. Deez nuts. Ha! Got em!"

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. and thinks ""Some asshole has my pen""."

"It is 2022. Everyone has bought a pair of beats by dre. Doctor dre chuckles, his mind control device is ready"

"What did the little black kid get on his SAT's? Barbecue sauce."

"Fish I've got a great pet fish. I called him home. He is an absolutely wonderful fish! You might even say there's no plaice like home!"

"My job keeps asking me to sign up for a marathon. I keep telling them I can't. I'm out of shape, I have weak knees, and 401k is a long way to run."