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Joke of the Day

"How do you make music by releasing fish? You drop the bass."

"ASTRONAUT 1:So sorry ASTRONAUT 2: My condolences ASTRONAUT 3: Forgive us ~~The crew of the Apollo-G"

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what they were laced with but I have been tripping all day."

"I'm going to a notable restaurant tonight. I'm excited, but I don't know where I'll put my plate."

"I just had a wicked threesome on the kitchen floor. Me, Nyquil and Vodka. I'll be walking funny tomorrow!"

"When humorists pole-dance it's called a comic strip."

"[cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*"

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? People like me have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub... ...She says ""Show me it's true what they say about black men"". So he stabs her & nicks her purse."

"Why couldn't the Dali Lama go out and play with his friends? Because he was grounded."