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Joke of the Day

"How long do you have to wear a soul patch before your cravings for souls goes away completely?"

"""Boo!"" A priest startles. It was the holy ghost."

"Guide to making everyone hate you: Step 1) Turn your hat backwards"

"Police chase I was racing towards a cliff with police sirens ringing in my ears when I noticed my mirror was broken and I realized there was no looking back now"

"What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics? She has it bronzed."

"Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don't have any kids."

"There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night The police told us to stay inside until they shot him"

"Have you heard about the new emo-punk band taking Mexico by storm? They're called *Hispanic! At the Disco*."

"I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing"

"I'm going to name my child Dick.. It rolls straight off the tip of my tongue."