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Joke of the Day

"ME: I worked at a zoo for a while THERAPIST: Great! & what did you take from that? ME: [monkey noises coming from my bag] Uh good memories"

"Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn't have any pictures of me either."

"A cook's apprentice is throwing copious amounts of herbs into the dish When the cook walks in and says ""STOP WASTING MY THYME"""

"Boy: Do you like parties? Girl: Yes, why? Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"

"Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics ? Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is in the US."

"Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween."

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little wiiiine."

"When do spare parts from Japanese cars start falling out of the sky? When it's raining Datsun cogs."

"A teacher tells the class whoever answers her next question can go home. A boy throws his bag out the window Teacher: ""Who just threw that?!"" Boy: ""Me. I'm going home now."""

"What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!"