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Joke of the Day

"We live in a time where ""He is hot"" is more important than ""He is a nice guy."""

"I used to have a voice like Justin Bieber... then I turned four."

"Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it."

"A brunette tells her blonde friend that she can finally say that she's slept with a Brazilian. The blonde looks shocked and says, ""OMG, how many is a Brazilian???"

"""You will not marry him! He is not of our kind!"" But we're in love! ""It is forbidden!"" *whale elopes with submarine*"

"hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-"

"Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl? Because the pee is silent."

"My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?"

"I always keep a gun in my pocket so people won't think I'm happy to see them."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Smallpox."