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Joke of the Day

"I used to be a taxi driver but I had to quit... I couldn't stand people talking behind my back."

"Hey girl are you a capri sun? Because i want to stab you."

"Life without love is pointless.... Love without life is necrophilia"

"When someone pushes the ""2"" button in an elevator it should automatically announce their weight."

"I spent all of last night trying to remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500 and couldn't.... ...I'm so LIVID right now."

"What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life And you're starting back off at your last checkpoint."

"The Albanian planted lightbulbs in his garden. He heard that tulips grew from bulbs."

"Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. No two. No... How many do we have on the truck?"

"Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey? Because he'd always get nailed into the boards"

"Whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby I dont come on my apple before I eat it"