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Joke of the Day

"John Madden just died from a heart attack what, you thought this was a joke? the guy's fat and old."

"You cannot eat me unless you spread me. -Butter"

"What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop? I can't decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!"

"What do you call a gay avatar? A bender."

"Welcome to Earth, where we hate each other and put ketchup on everything."

"What do black men find most shocking about sex? Tazers"

"Me: I heard Rihanna got food poisoning Brain: Stop M: It was B: No M: Salmonella ella ella ey ey B: This is why I can't do math in your head"

"What do you call a loud Trump supporter? A Trumpet."

"Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. I said it."

"Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk? He can't stand the 1%"