141190
Joke of the Day
"Have you seen my LSD? No but have you seen the Dragon in the kitchen?"
Next Joke
"They should roast Tom Cruise sometime... Call it the Cruise-ifixion"
"Chinese takeout Chinese food to go $15. Gas to go pick it up $1.50. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of my containers.... Riceless."
"I'm in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band."
"Tighty-whities are like cheap hotels No ballroom."
"What's big and black and excites Reddit admins? A censorship bar."
"[interview] ""How would you describe your people skills?"" ME: I tend to drive others away. ""That's great! Welcome to Uber."""
"What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person? Would you pull that crap with a net?"
"Making an analogy that references itself is like good word play. You don't do it anytime you want. You have to have a good reason to go metaphor."
"Interviewer: what are your future plans? Me: lunch Interviewer: I meant long term plans Me: what, like dinner?"