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Joke of the Day

"My dog: wasn't me Me: I know My dog: honest It wasn't me Me: it's ok really My dog: [chip packet still on her head] I think the kid ate them"

"Most fucked up joke I ever heard (nsfw) The moment when you eat out your grandma, taste horse semen and think to yourself ""So this must be how she died""."

"Paul is coming over tonight Paul smith or Paul who puts ketchup on everything? [car pulls into driveway covered in ketchup]"

"Nigger went to a shop Then he got aids and died"

"What is the most sensitive part of your body when you are having a wank? Your ears."

"""Grapey."" -me after every wine at the wine-tasting"

"Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age."

"I may be weird, but everyone needs a buddy who will show up at 2 a.m. and help get the dead zebra out of the septic tank without judging you"

"What do you call a group of poor homeless people that show up to a party? Party paupers"

"Today I met a woman with twelve breasts, sounds strange, dozen tit?"