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Joke of the Day

"Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here."

Next Joke
 
"I made a shirt out of pushpins... ...because I wanted to look sharp. But everyone said it was just tacky."
"What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down? The owner calls Triple Eh."
"A man visits his psychiatrist wearing only cellophane wrapped around his body The psychiatrist says ""I can clearly see your nuts."""
"Things I Hate: slow internet connection and monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday and half of friday."
"[running amok in flames] WHY ARE INFLAMMABLE THINGS FLAMMABLE!?"
"Make sure to tip your waitress. It's pretty funny when they fall over."
"A son asks his mom... -Mom, why is my cousin named Diamond? -Because Aunt Carol Loves Diamonds -What about me? -Enough questions Harambe"
"thought i wanted to die but turns out i was just hungry"
"Crap....all this time I thought I was listening to the Angel on my shoulder. Turns out the Devil on the other shoulder is just a hell of a ventriloquist."