138513
Joke of the Day
"I don't think my wife likes me very much when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."
Next Joke
"So I got home late last night, and my wife says, ""Would you like some supper?"" I say, ""Oh, yes! What are the choices?"" ""Yes, or no."""
"Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:('You wanna go for a spin?')"
"Can we please be straight here- when you hit the wrong key by accident, that is a typo. When you can't spell the word, that is NOT a typo."
"Me: ""Can I have a few extra days off before Christmas?"" Boss: ""It's May."" Me: ""Sorry, may I have a few days off before Christmas?"""
"If McDonalds sold hot dogs would you be able to (w/ a straight face) order a McWeiner and tell them to supersize it?"
"Why is the robot good at one night stands? Because he nuts and bolts."
"I call my penis Oscar Pistorius... ... it only goes inside for a disappointingly short period of time."
"Waiter waiter does the pianist play requests? Yes sir. Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've finished my meal."
"I took one of those online IQ tests ... And got a 404. I'm a super genius!"