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Joke of the Day

"A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time."

"Don't forget to stop and Instagram the roses."

"Whenever a guy boasts he has a party in his pants, I always ask him to prove it. If he's not packin nachos, beer and M&Ms, I'm going home."

"Why can you ran thourgh a campground but not run through a campground? Because it's past tents"

"What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich!"

"Did you know it was women who coined the term, ""Bromance""? Yeah, basically the concept of friendship is so foreign to them that they created a new word for it."

"What do you call a gnome who dresses nice? A metronome!"

"To everybody whose birthday is today. I am sorry that your birthday was not yesterday, otherwise you would have had a puny birthday."

"*Searches ""Yahoo"" on Yahoo until Yahoo has an orgasm*"

"Jeff and Don are singing deck the halls.... When they both suddenly die part way through the song. They are reincarnated as ass-less chaps. Jeff looks over and says: ""Don, we now are gay apparel."""