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Joke of the Day

"Boss Lady was NOT OK with me dancing around with binder clips on my nipples. Apparently we have different definitions of ""Casual Friday"""

"Screw you, Burger King, if you really wanted me to have it ""MY way"" you'd have added alcohol to your menu."

"Q: What's green and purple and goes up and down? A: Barney in an elevator."

"I'm not above apologizing for my drunken behavior I'm just sick of repeating myself"

"Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown? Because he had no depth perception."

"DATE: I'm leaving ME: Why? D: You keep pretending to be a bat M: I don't D: You're doing it right now [a single tear rolls up my forehead]"

"Ghost joke joke booooobies"

"Classic Russian Reversal Old one, but I still find it funny: In America, you go out to find a party. In Soviet Union, party finds you!"

"I was getting a blowjob and I told the girl to treat my dick like a jolly rancher.... and keep on sucking."

"What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy? Decalfinated."