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Joke of the Day

"If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year"

"Who's a bitch? PinkShine"

"Say no to shampoo. Demand real poo."

"I wonder what part of the Constitution we'll all be fighting over today? I hope it's the preamble. That part's bullshit."

"beluga whales singing and one that cant sing lol http://youtu.be/UlJ5GhYzHIY"

"Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman's ability to find a reason to post a selfie."

"Do you know why nobody ever talks about womansplaining? If you don't know why then there is no reason for me to tell you."

"Some people might find a grown man talking to himself strange, & it's probably the couple sitting next to me."

"Movie theater employees have 2 ages: 17 104"

"Kid: Daddy, where do babies come from? Dad: Storks deliver them Kid: but where do baby storms come from? Dad: ...Fuck."