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Joke of the Day

"My Roommate wanted me to play the popular game Fuck, Marry, Kill... But now I am confused. What should I do with my husband's dead body?"

"probably the best joke rn your face..."

"My mother told me that I took everything for granite. Apparently our house was made of sandstone."

"Anti... ...Cipation!"

"Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers? One of them actually ended a race."

"Just saw a 13 year old kid reading an actual newspaper. I stopped and asked of he was okay, and if he'd lost his phone."

"Whenever a woman tells me that she just wants to have a good time and sleep with me, I say ""You can only pick one."""

"I ate some bad Greek food now I falafel."

"I forgot to wear my glasses when I drove today. I didn't even notice I wasn't wearing them until the kid on my windshield said something"

"Yelp is a great way to find out where garbage people will never eat again because one time a waitress forgot their honey mustard."