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Joke of the Day

"Another knock knock joke I can tell knock knock jokes to my dog because when I say ""Knock, knock."" He starts barking and runs to the door... Stupid dog ! There's never anyone !!!"

"There are 2 important rules in business. 1. Don't tell people everything you know."

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single."

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police... He's now a seasoned veteran."

"My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary."

"If your victim freaks out when you pull a knife, politely sheath your blade and change the subject."

"Why are gay people so rude ? Because they're fucking assholes !"

"/r/Jokes won the International Green Awards! 97% recycled content."

"The Golden Globes are like the Oscars produced by a former Soviet republic."

"I got mugged in college by a gang of Asians. Two of them held me down and a third corrected my math homework before fleeing into the night."