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Joke of the Day

"We were making out on the couch and She's like ""Let's take this upstairs"" I'm like ""Ok you grab one side and I'll grab the other!"""

"I bet now that it's been a few years, she's ""The Girl Who Really Regrets Getting That Dragon Tattoo."""

"My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel...."

"Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*?"

"How do you get in with a pretty nurse? You need to be patient."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom xDDddd"

"Autocorrect and I are so close, we finish each other's sentinels."

"You hear about the accident involving the mustang and the t bird? There was horse shit and feathers everywhere! My grandpa died 12 years ago this week, thought I'd share his favorite joke."

"What type of train gets fat? A chew chew train..."

"are you my appendix because i don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out"