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Joke of the Day

"A man was circumcised in a dodgy alleyway... He paid close to nothing for it but was not happy as later that day, he was complaining to his friends that it was a complete rip-off."

"Lady at the dollar store checked to see if my $20 was fake. Like if I could counterfeit money I'd be shopping at the dollar store."

"I'd tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long."

"I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance."

"I know we get a lot of dad jokes...here's a mom one What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine? Make it sew!"

"Two sowing machines are sitting in a bar.. And one says, *""Are you a singer?""* Then the other replies, *""Why? Janome?""*"

"Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Well I guess none; they just put the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"No one ever gets my jokes about UDP."

"[Me and a friend have movie night, order pizza and do some acid] Me: ""Hell yeah"" Friend: ""Hell yeah"" Pizza: ""Oh hell yeah"""