130581
Joke of the Day
"Hydrogen punched helium... Helium didn't react."
Next Joke
"Bartender: ""Do you want a drink, miss?""nnMe: ""What are my choices?""nnBartender: ""Yes or No."""
"A bad picture of you, and your automatic response is... ""Don't put that on Facebook!"""
"'When I go to the bathroom at work and someone follows me in' Doctor: I meant is there anything worrying you, physically"
"My friend asked me how I got so good at guitar. I told him I'm use to fingering minors."
"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""
"If you ever feel like a complete moron never forget that I managed to text my wife today that she forgot her mobile at home. You're welcome."
"A leopard tried to sneak out of his enclosure by pretending to be a zebra. But he was spotted."
"If we were really supposed to give up alcohol or Lent, they wouldn't have put St. Patrick's Day in the middle of it."
"Ladies, they're called ""Skinny Jeans."" Not ""Makes You Skinny Jeans."""