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Joke of the Day

"Which joke is better? How many tickles does it take to tickle an *inbred* octopus? Ten tickles. How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles."

"Responding to every question with ""deez nuts"" has alienated everyone close to me, but it has been worth it"

"Life is like a penis. Simple, relaxed and hanging around freely... It's women who make it hard."

"What do clocks do when they're still hungry after a meal? They go back four seconds."

"If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it's because no one else wanted them."

"What is worse than 10 dead Babys on a Tree? 1 dead Baby on 10 Trees. I know I am going to hell for this."

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP."

"God: So I was, all, what if there was a fish made of jelly? Like, jelly but alive and in the sea? LOL [angels look nervously at one another]"

"Police chase I was racing towards a cliff with police sirens ringing in my ears when I noticed my mirror was broken and I realized there was no looking back now"

"[does his regular grocery shopping] Cashier: having a kid's birthday party? Me: ...................yes."