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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that ancient Egyptians were related by their farts? It's true. They had a toot in common."

"Daughter asked me she wants to feel like a princess so I forced her on a marriage with a man she's never met to secure our alliance with the French."

"What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane? If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor"

"What's the difference between a black fairy tale and a white fairy tail? White begins, ""Once upon a time..."" Black begins, ""Y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"""

"Just took an opposite selfie of something I saw. Elsie? Otherie? Seeie? Oh, photo. Got it."

"What does an Asian prostitute say to asbestos workers? Meso horny."

"Instagram banned me for life cuz I kept commenting ""but are you happy?"" on everyone's pictures."

"Why did the black man walk into a bar? Because the cell door was still locked."

"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."

"Me: HOLY SHIT! We've been robbed! Her: Oh No! Are you calling the police? Me: (Sigh) No, I'm calling the burglars to congratulate them.."