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Joke of the Day

"Your moms ass is like sensitive data... ...you gotta back dat shit up!"

"I got a free wallet and watch today. It's like this gun is magic."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a prostitute? You can order one of them without mushrooms."

"Today my family is celebrating my dad's 100 days w/o alcohol he is in a coma"

"No, Grandma. Still not married; but the lady in the Popeye's Chicken commercials keeps calling me ""Honey"" so we'll see where that goes."

"Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I'm eating right now"

"Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'."

"What do you get when you run over geese? Goose bumps"

"(My romance novel) ""You have a pretty face,"" he said. ""Thank you,"" she said, lifting up her bangs. ""I've got even more face under here."""

"So, if 4 out of 5 people suffer some medical condition, does that mean the other 1 person enjoys it?"