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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one? The type of gas used."

"HORSE: *walks into a bar* BARTENDER: Why the long face? HORSE: Updog BARTENDER: What's updog? HORSE: Not much just walking into a bar"

"Yo mama such a ho... Yo mama such a ho that her privates are called publics. i'm ashamed of this. but also really proud."

"Don't ever look away from a police officer. Just stare him down. You don't wanna look suspicious."

"Why is it called a wonderbra? Because when its opened you wonder where are the boobs"

"All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger."

"Chevrolet has seen a huge drop in sales in Canada They just hate the 2016 Cruze"

"I forgot a bag of groceries in my taxi. It's been driving me bananas."

"Q. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? A. ""Rough rough""."

"They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but 2 minutes and 15 seconds once every 3 months ain't going to shift your beer belly is it."