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Joke of the Day

"So I called Amazon customer support to try and get credit for a late package. They said no. They cut me down in my Amazon Prime."

"Knock knock. The game."

"What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!"

"If George W. Bush was the president of France today, he would declare war on Finland."

"""Hi I can't remember the name of this actress.You know her, she's in that movie you saw. She's got that hair."" -actual message from my mom"

"I'm never marrying anyone else that I find on craigslist."

"Play on Words I really want to come up with a play on words but I don't know how it will do in front of an audience."

"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"So I got myself a Cuban girlfriend... She is my Guantanamo bae."

"The Biggest Joke of 2016 Mariah Carey's Performance at Dick Clarks Rockin New Years Eve"