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Joke of the Day

"Why do so many people like Harry Potter? It's a charming story."

"Monica Lewinsky's favorite Green Bay Packer? Clinton-Dix"

"""LOL what if our packaging was totally easy to tear open...unless you had a cut finger?"" --Band-Aid makers, seriously, f those guys"

"Bicycle joke Why did the guy fall off his bicycle? Because I threw a microwave at him"

"The Queen Elizabeth doesn't have one. The Pope has one, yet he does not use it. Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big, and Brad Pitt's is small. What am I talking about? A last name, you pervs."

"There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe...call in sick tomorrow."

"""I just heard that that one actress from Legally Blonde, Reese... 'whatever her last name is' got stabbed to death walking to her car last night."" ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife."""

"Just started my Vegan diet. They're a bit chewy, but better than kale."

"Did you hear about the football offensive coordinator who was republican? He was a conservative playcaller."

"How can you tell when an Iranian boy has matured? They take the diaper off his ass and put it on his head."