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Joke of the Day

"Why are pirates so mean? I don't know they jusr Arrrrrrrr!"

"How to keep an idiot busy (answer is in the description) How to keep an idiot busy (answer is in the title)."

"Not quite feeling myself today. I'm going to see if booze helps..."

"God talked to Jews like 500 times in the Old Testament, and not one warning about the Nazis."

"An ion walked up to Lost and Found and reported that he had lost an electron. The clerk asked:are you sure? The ion replied :Yes, I am positive.VCN"

"What do you call a dog with short legs and steel balls? Sparky"

"I have a riddle for you. There are two doors, one leads to heaven, the other leads to hell. There are two guards, the guard to hell always tells a lie, and the guard to heaven is Shakira's hips."

"My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey."

"What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast? Stop ""Russian"""

"I finally mustard up the courage to tell my gf how I felt about her excessive sausage consumption Things took a turn for the wurst"