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Joke of the Day

"""How many televised singing competitions are too many?"" ""I don't know, let's find out!"" - Television executives"

"What doesn't belong in this list? Wife, eggs, meat, blowjob. Blowjob doesn't belong. Why? Because you can beat your eggs, your meat, or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob!"

"Why do they call the hardest group, ""The Group of Death""? Four rosters of boners & you'd want to die too."

"I found my first gray pube the other day. It was in a kebab."

"What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb? Not get a job."

"Canadian bird watching is pretty depressing... It's hard to see these birds all aloon."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac..? He lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog..."

"The year is 2036, President Jaden Smith is re-elected in a landslide after making it illegal to respond to someone's text message with ""K"""

"[comes out of coma after 12 years] ME: Holy shit I forgot to set my AIM status to 'Away'! DOCTOR: you might want to take a seat"

"Why is hockey the bloodiest sport? It has three periods."