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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she's like a man because she pees in the shower. I said, you're not a man until you pee in the toilet, From the shower."

Next Joke
 
"My wife wanted to have sex in the back of the car..... So I got stuck driving her and her boyfriend around all night."
"Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. """
"ME: I can't come in to work. My grandma died BOSS: your grandma has died 4 times this year ME: yeah she's a cat"
"How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ? See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth !"
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TENTACLES!"
"Life is like a box of chocolates... If you end up with brown sticky fingers, you're doing it wrong."
"How many particles are there in a vaccum? It doesn't matter."
"My idea of a romantic dinner for two involves a surprising amount of papier-mache dinosaurs."
"My cat went missing, so I put up posters of myself that says... ""If you're reading this, you better get your ass back home right now!"""