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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes you just have to be straight up with people or they will expect you to bend over backwards."

"During cold days blondes stand in the corner of the room because... ...there it is always 90 degrees."

"I dropped my phone when my friend accidently bumped my arm. It didn't break but for a moment I saw her whole life flash in front of my eyes."

"My cat is 11 and still only has one word, should I be worried."

"When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture."

"What do you call a Hindu lizard? A karma chameleon"

"Doctor, doctor...I've got a strawberry up my butt! That's ok. We've got some cream for that."

"I am not a ""Grammar Nazi""... I prefer the term ""Alt-Write""."

"Did you hear that Jim Carrey lost his left arm in a horrific accident? I guess that makes him all-righty then."

"if you think about all the people you didn't marry, you've had a positive impact on virtually every life in the world"