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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about that new movie, ""Constipation""? ...No? That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"Did you hear the guy who invented predictive text has died? His funfair will be held on a sundial. Funfair* Funfair* For ducks sake..."

"If the Dove is ""The Bird Of Peace"" What's the bird of love? The Swallow."

"What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies? A Killergran."

"What is Captain Ahab's favorite reggae band? Bob Marley and The Whalers!"

"My version of cyber-bullying is running around inside a Starbucks slamming people's laptops shut."

"Don't worry about my probation officer, he just likes to watch."

"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. 205, 204, 203, 202, 201... She'll make a great soup."

"My dad's TV volume is always set at ""f*ck the neighbors""."

"What did the river say when it saw the beavers? I'll be dammed."