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Joke of the Day

"DON'T TELL ME THAT PLANTS MAKING THEIR OWN FOOD ISNT AMAZING. THATS LIKE YOU GOING TO TACO BELL BUT THE TACOS WERE INSIDE YOU THE WHOLE TIME"

"Hey girl, on a scale of 'Neo's mind in the beginning of The Matrix' and 'Neo's mind at the end', how free are you tonight?"

"My son has the ability to predict what will happen in the future and later explain why it didn't happen. I think I'm raising a politician."

"I flying insect just flew into my house and exploded! I think it was a Jihaddy long legs"

"What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:"

"When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks, ""how much for a beer?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, no charge."""

"Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle that matches the impression in her forehead."

"As an ultimate act of selflessness, someday I will travel to a 3rd world country and adopt a small, less fortunate highway."