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Joke of the Day

"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new year's Eve party When you hear an Arab count down from 10 your instincts kick in."

"What's the difference Donald Trump and my Vagina? One's a Cunt and the other has nice hair."

"Where do you party on a ship? Where the funnel be!"

"Lou Gehrig is the most unlucky man to ever live.... I mean seriously, what are the odds of dying from a disease that has the same name as you?"

"My phone battery can last longer than most relationships these days."

"Why do black people only ever have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot."

"What bird has wings but cannot fly ? Roast turkey !"

"Looks like Erdogan had to quit... ...cold Turkey. [](/rimshot)"

"Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing him."

"TIFU by having the bomb squad called to my party. They said it was the bomb."