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Joke of the Day

"You couldnt even have sex with me if you were the last person on earth! Good. Im not a necrophile."

"What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want to - it can't here you!"

"The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to keep the mystery alive. So tonight I decided to clean something unexpectedly."

"There should be a specific type of doctor for being on call. They'd be called cancer-ogists ^because^cancer^doctors^are^oncologists"

"What did the Mexican name his two dicks? Jose and Hose B"

"I wish some people could actually see their personality when they look in a mirror."

"What's a Canadian's favorite board game? Sorry!"

"when ur watchig netflix alone in bed and the scene blacks out so u see ur own reflection r u suposed to smile at urself? help i feel awkward"

"Why was the little ink blot so unhappy? Because his mother was in the pen, and they didn't know how long the sentence would be."

"i can't fall asleep with all these people honking at me. go around!"